The Team That's in Last Place Twice

Well, it's official. The Boston Red Sox have eaten the Baltimore Orioles. And grown to twice their original size. And despite this, they still suck. Twice.

Over the next few days, expect some stuff to go up from my California trip. Or maybe not. It's something I'm seriously considering at this point, but I make no promises. It all depends whether I spend from now until Thursday, when I leave for Maine, watching TV in front of my computer, or watching TV in a half-passed out state on the couch. Decisions, decisions.

Why Kendry Shouldn't Have Happened

A few days ago, Angels first baseman Kendry Morales hit a walk-off grand slam. He happily ran all the way around the bases, threw off his helmet, jumped onto home plate, and promptly broke his leg. He's most likely done for the season.

So now, a big deal is being made over walk-off celebrations. You know, the kind of thing where the person who had a game-winning hit goes flying at full speed into the middle of a group of teammates, who then jump up and down and repeatedly smack the game's hero in the head. I know what you're thinking: there is no way that something like that could end poorly.

A Night With The Flying Squirrels

A few days ago, I mentioned that I was taking a long Amtrak ride. For those of you wondering, I’m in Richmond, VA for the week. Yes, the town where I grew up. It’s a wonderful place to live if you enjoy Civil War memorials. If you don’t, then you’re pretty much going to have to make your own fun. I’m here because I have a bachelor party to go to this weekend, but I thought I’d spend a few days back home around the festivities.

Tonight, I’m heading down to The Diamond to see our brand-new minor-league baseball team, the Richmond Flying Squirrels, who are the Double-A affiliate of the San Francisco Giants. Yes, it’ll be fun, but this will also be a major challenge for me.

The Perfect Game That Wasn't

Last night, for a split second, Detroit Tigers pitcher Armando Galarraga had pitched the 21st perfect game in Major League Baseball history. 27 batters up, 27 batters down. Then, with one outstretched arm motion, umpire Jim Joyce wiped it from the record books. Today, there are a lot of angry people, but strangely enough, this might end up being a very good thing for baseball.

No, I'm not here to skewer Joyce. Sure, his blown call was an egregiously bad one, but he's human. He'll make mistakes. He just happened to make a very bad one at one of the worst possible times. As badly as I feel for Galarraga, I feel just as bad for Joyce. This isn't a blown call that people will forget about -- most likely, this will define his career. Although to his credit, Joyce accepted full blame for his mistake, and to his credit, Galarraga, who had every right to be upset, took the high road and graciously accepted Joyce's apology.

Delaware Is Not One To Get Emotional

Sure they're upset about the perfect game that wasn't, but you have to think that most of their anger is directed at the fact that they're living in Delaware. That definitely puts things in perspective.

Attack of the Hungry Rando

Kim Jones of the YES Network was talking about all the wonderful new food options at Target Field, such as the always delicious pork chop on a stick, when all of a sudden, a Yankees fan crept up behind her and OM NOM NOM NOM. Michael Kay sounds repulsed, but in my opinion, he's just jealous that someone else got to Kim Jones' porkchop before he did. Here's the video:



UPDATE: Major League Baseball made me take it down! I'm important! Hooray!!!

An Ode to Weekday Sports

And now, with less than half an hour to go until today's Yankees game, I give you an ode to the greatest thing to ever happen to unemployment: weekday sports.

But first, I have to make sure to distinguish weekday sports from weeknight sports. By "weekday sports," I'm specifically talking sporting events that happen while approximately 90.1% of the adult population is at work. You see, these are things that I can watch instead of watching (let's see what else is on at 1PM that I would consider watching): NHL Live, "Ten Commandments of the Mafia" on Discovery, True Life (The Amish One), or my third lap of SportsCenter. Also, on the Smithsonian Channel, there's something called "Panda Breeding Diary." Just letting everyone know, in case you found your way here through a Google search for "thats pucked up .com".

Weekend Recap, Now with a Dude Named Balls

Welcome back for another work week, loyal readers. If you haven't already, be sure to check out our toilet vs. toilet paper recap. For those of you who are upset about having to start another week of work/school, here's something that's sure to put a smile on your face:

Yes, put a smile on your face -- unless of course, you're a panflute enthusiast. But I'm pretty sure that those don't actually exist. (Googles it) Well, shit. Let's move on to the weekend recap.

Respect for Robbie

Quick question, and don't cheat (or look at the post title or picture on the right): who is 1st in the American League this season in batting average, slugging percentage, runs and OPS, and 2nd in the AL in home runs?

I'll give you a clue. He plays in the AL East. Okay, I'll give you another clue. He plays for the Yankees.

No, it's not A-Rod. Definitely not Mark Teixiera. Not Derek Jeter, either. The answer is Robinson Cano. Admit it...Cano wouldn't have been among your top 15 guesses. A second baseman who is considered no better than the 4th or 5th best position player on his team? Please. Well, it's time to give the guy some respect.

To V or Not To V

I had an internal conflict yesterday morning as I was preparing to bifurcate my day by going to the Mets game. You see, I am a Yankee fan so I had no rooting interest in the game nor did I have either team's paraphernalia to don. So I thought, if a jersey is out of the question, what qualifies as proper attire to wear to a baseball game? Can you wear a button-down shirt? At a Yankee game, sure, but this is the Mets we're talking about. They're the layperson's team. A guy in a button-down shirt at CitiField would stand out more than this thing or this thing. (Okay, that was a tasteless remark. What I really meant to say was that Mets fans should upgrade from coach to first class and support the classy organization that just so happens to have won 27 championships.)

Well, if a button-down is no good, how about a hoodie? Ah, much better. But what to wear under it? I could go with a t-shirt, a polo shirt, maybe even a regular white undershirt. I reached into my chest of drawers and happened on the one item I knew I couldn't wear to a baseball game: a V-neck t-shirt.