Yom Kippur Liveblog Extravaganza

Shalom! And welcome to The Couchwarmers 1st annual Yom Kippur Liveblog Extravaganza!

I'll keep updating this liveblog all the way through tomorrow at the bottom of this post, so just keep refreshing. Mmmm....sweet, sweet pageviews.

Basically, I'm hoping that doing this will take my mind off of food for at least a little while tomorrow. If nothing else, you'll get to see me spiral down into a state of semi-incoherence as I go an entire day without anything to eat or drink. And now the moment you've been waiting for. Let's get this thing started:

The Building That's Also a Pinwheel

Tomorrow, I head down to the City of Brotherly Love for the weekend for my sister's graduation. For those of you who don't know me, I actually lived and worked in Philly for a year after I graduated. Yes, actual work, like grown-ups do. But I don't like talking about it.

I know when I first posted my Thursday night as a sandwich theory, many of you clamored for more of the madness going on in my head, so I'll indulge you with something Philadelphia-related that might be the "conspiracy-est" one of my theories. If they find me face-down in a vat of Cheez Whiz this weekend, it's up to one of you to expose this evil scheme, since the powers that be in Philly will have gotten wise to my snooping. Either that, or I just had the best weekend ever. Cheez Whiz isn't a bad way to go.

Your Thursday Night, Now in Convenient Sandwich Form

Tonight, NBC returns to its normal Thursday night comedy schedule for the first time in several weeks, and I, like many of you out there, am thrilled. This two-hour block has long been a highlight of my TV-watching week, not only because of the quality of the four shows -- Community, Parks and Recreation, The Office, and 30 Rock -- but also because of how NBC has figured out how to broadcast these four shows in precisely the right order.

Now, if you'll bear with me, I'll explain how these four programs are set up exactly like an expertly-made sandwich:

Floyd Mayweather Jr. Quotes Shakespeare

Floyd Mayweather Jr. tells Jim Rome what he thinks about other people's opinions. Insert requisite "Jim Rome is also an asshole"/Jim Everett joke here.

Emotional Insurance

As I promised two days ago, here's a post titled Emotional Insurance, in which we will explore, among other things, why I placed $80 on the Butler Bulldogs to win the national title. First off, let's define "insurance." According to the world's leading scholarly source, insurance is "a form of risk management primarily used to hedge against the risk of a contingent, uncertain loss." By extension then, emotional insurance would be a way in which to insure your mental well-being in the case of a contingent, uncertain loss. Let's use Monday night as an example:

How To Make It (Unemployed) In America

A quick plug before we begin -- if you haven't voted on day 2 of the invention bracket, click here. We've decided to stretch it out a little bit so as to avoid bracket overload -- we're taking a day off from it today, but we'll post round one results tonight and have voting on all second round matchups tomorrow. As Sam so eloquently put it: by voting, you are validating our existence, so thanks. And now, on to the topic du jour.

Almost every day (of the past week), I have found myself in a conversation like this:

Person I am speaking to: So, what do you do for a living?

Me: I blog.

Person I am speaking to: You blog? Well, surely you do more than that.

Me: Well yea, I am studying for the LSAT as well and am even tutoring a couple people for the LSAT while I study. But really, my main focus is blogging.

Person I am speaking to: OK, so what’s a typical day like?

I never would have thought being unemployed would be such an enigma to people. I have worked for an embattled governor and the Worldwide Leader in Sports -- both unquestionably interesting places to work -- and people are WAY more fascinated by my current unemployment stint than they were by my paycheck-earning days. 

Well, I’m going to try to satiate your curiosity by explaining the formula for jobless living -- and it’s actually quite simple. It stems from what I will dub: The Bifurcation Belief

Allow me to explain…