The New NFL Draft Interview Process

Before we get started here, I'd just like to remind you guys to weigh in on the toilet/TP issue. If this is gonna work, we'll need a few more responses. If you've got a few minutes that need killing, what better way than this?

No doubt most of you have heard about the recent Dez Bryant-Jeff Ireland controversy. For those who need a quick refresher, Ireland, the GM of the Dolphins, asked the wide receiver in a pre-draft interview if his mother was a prostitute when she had him at the age of fifteen. Word of this interview got out, people got indignant, Matt Millen weighed in saying that nothing is off-limits in these interviews, people got even more indignant, people realized Matt Millen still has a job somewhere, people got even more indignant -- you get the idea.

Hit the Road, Mel

Just a few quick thoughts on Mel Kiper's and everyone else's 2010 NFL Draft grades:

Who cares?

Those are my thoughts. That's it. Have a happy Wednesday.

What, you want grades from me? You're not gonna get them. I hate draft grades. So does Peter King, who has said, "It's like going to law school, passing the bar, and the next day someone says: You're going to be an 'A' lawyer. How in the world does anyone know who the 'A' lawyer is going to be until he or she has been out in the real world for a while?"

Friday Roundup, NFL Draft Edition

Thanks to all of you who stopped by last night to read our NFL Draft liveblog. Hopefully, we kept you guys entertained. The one thing that we learned from the whole experience is that the four hours of the first round fly by when you're trying to type up a recap of the proceedings, take pictures of Tom Jackson gently caressing his breasts, and upload video of the Justin Tuck phone call all at the same time.

Also, thanks for sending in some good curse words last night. It's a shame we couldn't use all of them. Actually, the best we got wasn't a curse word, but a one-liner, and it comes to us from a reader who shall remain anonymous: "I like my whiskey like I like my women -- twelve years old and full of coke."

The One Where We Call Justin Tuck Pretending to be Drew Rosenhaus

For a full draft night recap, and for the story behind how we got Justin Tuck's number, check out our draft night liveblog. If you're waiting for the money shot, here you go. Armed with his number, and hoping that he doesn't know what Drew Rosenhaus' voice sounds like, we make the call:



(UPDATE: On Peter's urging, we took the video down after having it up for a couple of weeks. He said it would reflect poorly on him to have it floating around if and when he decided to get a job. We told him that as long as he wasn't applying for a job with the Giants, he would be fine. But he still insisted. We're not ones to upset friends of the blog. The video's been taken down.)

Pictures from the Draft

Here are the screenshots we got.  For a full recap, check out the Couchwarmers' liveblog of the NFL draft.

Tom Jackson milking himself.

J-Mac cheers on the New England Patriots after their selection.

Busta Rhymes makes a rare appearance to congratulate Joe Haden on being drafted by the Browns.

NFL Draft Liveblog

Welcome to The Couchwarmers 2010 NFL Draft Liveblog Extravaganza. Tonight's always a fun night, but as there are ten whole minutes between picks, we hope you'll need something to pass the time waiting for the next pick. That's where we come in. Just know that you should be expecting less actual analysis, and more jokes about Mel Kiper Jr. trying to hide his football erection.

Of course, you know Daniel and me, but we'd like to introduce two friends of The Couchwarmers who will be joining us for the party. We have nicknames for our friends, but to you, we'll be just be referring to them as Peter and Eric. Only douchebags refer to their friends by their nicknames to people they haven't met.

Peter is a New York Giants fan who comes to us straight from Ithaca, NY after celebrating his Ithaca farewell party last night. He said he'd show up here at 4:30 this afternoon, but when he hadn't showed up or called at 6, Daniel and I thought that there was a 5% chance he had wrecked his car, 20% chance he'd gotten a residual DUI from last night, and 75% chance he had instead driven home and fallen asleep. He wants me to say that he's hung like Greg Oden. I can neither confirm nor deny that. He is also currently in possession of the phone number of an NFL Pro Bowler, whose identity will be revealed later when we call him. Stay tuned.

Then we have Eric. Eric hasn't gotten here yet. He might actually flake out, because he only recently became an Eagles fan. Watching a game with Eric is like watching with a 12-year-old, if only because Eric has yet to grow out of the phase where he hides his head in a sofa cushion when something doesn't go his way. Eric is also the only person I know who has successfully pulled off a karaoke version of Rage Against the Machine's "Killing in the Name."

For the record, Sam will be typing in green. Daniel will be typing in red. And now, we bring you The Couchwarmers 2010 NFL Draft Liveblog Extravanganza. Click "Read More", and enjoy.

The 2004 Draft, Revisited

Seeing as how The Couchwarmers NFL Draft Live-Blog Extravaganza is now just a little more than a day away, I thought I'd whet your appetite with a post about a previous NFL draft that also happens to have some current relevance. Going into the 2004 NFL draft, there were three consensus top quarterbacks: Eli Manning, Philip Rivers, and Ben Roethlisberger.

Most of us still remember how draft day went: Manning refused to go to the San Diego Chargers, who had the first pick. They drafted him anyway, but shortly thereafter, traded him to the New York Giants for a package that included Rivers, who had been picked fourth. A little while later, the Pittsburgh Steelers drafted Big Ben eleventh overall.

Overall, all three of these quarterbacks have had both varying levels of success and disappointment in the league. But watching all of the Roethlisberger suspension coverage today at the gym got me thinking: Knowing everything we know now, and keeping past histories and looking at predicted future performance -- at this moment, which quarterback would you want on your team? Let's take a look at the arguments:

The Beauty that is the NFL Draft

As we gear up for the "75th annual meeting of National Football League franchises to select newly eligible football players" (which the Couchwarmers will liveblog on Thursday evening), I thought it was high time to delve into just why we watch an incredibly slow, drawn out process whose results we could read in a newspaper the next day. There must be reasons why we subject ourselves to watching announcers like "that jerk in Baltimore" bloviate about "upside" and "raw talent."

We watch the NFL draft in large part because of the unforeseen moments it delivers....some heartwarming and some pathetic, some stimulating and some boring, some well-spoken and some, um, stuttering.

The NFL draft has brought a ton of joy to our lives. Let's take a look at some videos, and you can see for yourself why it's so special.