Why Golden Tate Stole the Maple Bars

Hell, after watching this, I would too. This place looks incredible. Keep an eye out for Golden's maple bars at the 4:59 mark.

My New Favorite Athlete

Fans like athletes they can relate to. Sure, we may idolize those who train ten hours a day and don't eat anything that hasn't been scrutinized by a team of nutritionalists, but we can never fully connect with them. They're not like us. When it comes down to it, there is a certain sense of satisfaction that comes with knowing a celebrity does the same things that you do.

With this background, I present to you my new favorite athlete who doesn't actually play for one of my teams: Seattle Seahawks wide receiver Golden Tate. You see, last weekend, Tate was a little hungry at 3am. So what did he do? Did he order a pizza? Did he head out to an all-nite diner? No, and no. Those both would have been satisfying, lawful options -- yet what Tate did was both satisfying and illegal. Yes, at 3am last weekend, Golden Tate broke into a donut shop.

The Doctor Test

Earlier today, Canadian doctor Anthony Galea was charged with several drug-related offenses. Specifically, he's accused of smuggling HGH and other PEDs across the US-Canada border. What makes this story so newsworthy is that Galea has treated numerous prominent athletes -- Alex Rodriguez and Tiger Woods' names top the list, although both have denied that he treated them with any sort of banned substance.

Immediately, I'm tempted to cast judgement, if only because I saw a picture of Dr. Galea. You're seriously going to tell me that the dude on the right there is some sort of doctor?

When lawyers have their picture taken, they're usually in a nice suit, and the background is usually some sort of office or other location with a shit-ton of books so that they look smart. So when I want to go see a doctor, I'll look for one who's advertised as wearing a white coat or a suit. I don't want the dude from Extreme Makeover: Home Edition treating my bum knee.

Some Thoughts on L.T.

So Lawrence Taylor's in trouble again...that's not surprising.

For allegedly raping a 16-year-old girl? OK, maybe that's unchartered territory, even for L.T.

What are we supposed to make of this? Well, I can offer my opinion on what actually happened but I subscribe to Floyd Mayweather's theory on opinions so I'll leave it to the pundits to give us theirs. Jason Whitlock of The Kansas City Star and formerly of ESPN provided the most compelling evidence to date of Taylor's guilt, tweeting, "Seriously, not tryn 2 be funny, but the fact he was at a Holiday Inn is damning evidence. Only reason 2 stay @ Holiday Inn is do shady shat." Also, Taylor's history, specifically that he has a rap sheet as long as Al Capone's, doesn't lend itself to a verdict of innocent in the court of public opinion.

And for Taylor's legacy, if not his actual criminal sentence, the court of public opinion is all that matters.