Housekeeping

No, I'm not actually cleaning my house. I would never do that. But as I sit here watching hockey and contemplating whether the most pathetic 5-on-3 I've ever seen belongs to the Rangers or those overweight divorcees I saw in that eight-way gangbang, I realized that I hadn't said hi in more than a week.

Also, when I typed "hockey gangbang" into Google image search, that Bert and Ernie pic is what they gave me on Page 1. Or would have given me on Page 1 if Google Image Search still had pages.

But the real reason I'm here is to hold myself accountable. Over a month ago, I promised a review of the Rogers Centre. That hasn't come yet. Conveniently, I'm able to blame the research paper I turned in yesterday. But now that that's finished, I have no excuse.

Well, except for that tomorrow I'm going to California. I'll just be there for the weekend for a wedding. If you're reading this, Disner -- congratulations. And when you're signing the official name change certificate for yourself, try not to cry.

While I'm on the topic of giving shout-outs, I'd like to give one to my brother too, who just got accepted to Columbia to play tennis.

Fun fact: I'm currently on a one-match winning streak against a current Division I college player. When my brother was 9, he was convinced he could beat me at tennis. I was 16 and had argued my way onto my school's JV team, so while I was fat and lazy, I wasn't awful.

We played. I won 6-0. He left crying. I left feeling pretty damn good about myself. If anything, it was a lesson in humility. And that's why....you don't challenge your older brother....to tennis matches.

And if he challenges me again? I'll choose not to play. A winning streak is a winning streak, regardless of the circumstances.

Oh, and I also promised Sam Silverman a shout-out if he got me a lobster roll on visiting day at my camp a few months ago. Consider this your shout-out. Thanks for the lobster roll. It was delicious.

Now on to the to-do list:

1) Rogers Centre Review: You know, the Toronto baseball stadium. The good. The bad. The hopelessly Canadian. Everything.

2) Peter Luger: The Brooklyn steakhouse/food institution. I went there for the first time a few weeks ago. I'll let you know what the best item on the menu is. Teaser: it's not the steak. Intrigued? Nah, you probably don't give a shit. It's the bacon. But I'll have more on that later.

3) California Food Review: My first-ever trip to In-N-Out Burger. In an attempt at some culinary foreplay, I've been looking at hamburger pics online for like a week.

Hey, the Rangers just won. Good for them. And now, it's time for 30 Rock. Have a wonderful weekend. I'll be breaking out the shorts and sandals for one last 2010 hurrah.