The Most Dramatic Conference Realignment Plan You'll Hear

I don't know about you, but I'm loving this whole NCAA conference realignment thing. This might be the most excited I've been about college sports in a long time, save for a recent NCAA basketball championship. Basically, these schools are deciding on the future face of college sports. In addition, there's the added drama of a few big-name colleges (e.g., Kansas) potentially being left out in the cold by other schools' defections.

The rumors are flying: Big 12 schools are leaving for the Pac-10, Big 10, and/or the SEC; additionally, the SEC might possibly be plundering schools from other conferences as well. Some decisions are supposed to come down today.

People are saying that with these new conferences, the NCAA won't be necessary anymore. These mega-conferences will be free to create their own inter-conference championship games, finally ridding college football of the BCS. There will be much dancing and joyous celebration in the streets. People will light small fires and happily dance around them in circles.

Why NCAA Violations Keep Happening

The big piece of news coming out of the NCAA today (you know, other than that whole "conference shake-up that will change the face of college sports") is that "the University of Southern California has received a two-year bowl ban and a sharp loss of football scholarships in a report on the NCAA's four-year investigation of the school. The NCAA cited USC for a lack of institutional control Thursday in its long-awaited report, which detailed numerous violations primarily involving Heisman Trophy-winning tailback Reggie Bush and men's basketball player O.J. Mayo. The violations, which span almost four years, primarily involved 'agent and amateurism issues for a former football student-athlete and a former men's basketball student-athlete,' the NCAA wrote in its report."

The NCAA also sanctioned USC's women's tennis team for violations. This came as no surprise to anyone though. Like myself, I know many of you have been saying for years that NCAA women's tennis is COMPLETELY OUT OF CONTROL.

But back to the top story -- basically, OJ Mayo and Reggie Bush were receiving money from agents while playing for the Trojans, and USC either knew or "should have known" that it was going on. So for the next two years, USC is basically playing for nothing but pride. This is something that's going to take years, at the very least, for the USC program to recover from. But what about the athletes in question? What happens to them?

Even Turtles Bleed Blue

Last season, Maryland point guard Greivis Vasquez wrapped up his accomplished college career by winning the ACC Player of the Year award. For years, Vasquez has been the cocky, arrogant leader of the Maryland team -- the guy who wasn't afraid to mouth off to whoever he was playing, and who, at least most of the time, could back it up. Last year, when Maryland beat Duke for the first time in three years, it was Vasquez who was front and center, screaming at the fans, trash-talking the players, and generally being a loud douche. Which is why this story is sure to make any Terps fan recoil in horror.

On a radio show, Duke commit Josh Hairston was asked about playing at Maryland -- specifically whether Greivis had ever counseled Hairston about dealing with the crowd there. (Maryland fans might want to look away now.) Hairston replied:

The NBA: Where Penetration Happens

...and good basketball too.

When I first wrote up this post, I got a little carried away. In trying to promote the NBA playoffs, I took some cheap shots at Sam and his affinity for the NHL. In the spirit of brotherhood and promoting harmony among the members of the 9.7%, I chose to amend the post. This one is far more pro-NBA than anti-NHL but, have no fear, I'll still throw a few low blows to hockey here. If you want to see the original, unedited version, just become a follower of Couchwarmers by clicking "follow" towards the bottom right of this page. We'll include a copy of that post in your gift package*. If you're too proud to become a follower or don't want to give Sam and me an ego boost, you'll just have to settle for this one.
*Not actually a thing

Painful to Watch

Duke took on Purdue in a Sweet 16 matchup on Friday night, and of course, everyone watching could only think of one thing:

Purdue Basketball: It will COMB YOU OVER!!!

But then the game started, and suddenly, I wasn't having so much fun. Purdue ground the game down to a halt. Duke was missing open looks. Purdue was airballing threes on several of their possessions. At one point in the first half, the two teams were shooting a combined 44%. And to clarify, this wasn't a combined average. Duke was shooting 23%. Purdue was shooting 21%. This one was as ugly as, well...I'm not gonna say it.

The Big Red Hit a Wall

...or more accurately, the Big Red ran into DeMarcus Cousins.

While we gather submissions for the interactive invention bracket, I thought I'd briefly reflect on last night's game.

Well, Kentucky is better.  A lot better.  In fact, I think that Kentucky easily wins 9 out of 10 hypothetical matchups vs Cornell and would probably grind out a win in that 10th game too.  They're just too fast and too strong.  And not in a 2007 Patriots vs Giants kinda way in which the Giants can compensate for their lack of athleticism in some areas by riding the underdog wave...and still being equally athletic in other areas (namely on defense and at running back).  This Cornell team was just not as athletic, as talented or as ready for the big stage as Kentucky.  The real question is why we deluded ourselves into thinking that Cornell had a chance (and by we, I am referring specifically to the pundits, because Cornell alumni HAVE to delude themselves into thinking their school has a chance--we've invested over $100,000 in the school and we're looking for some return on that investment in the form of one successful basketball season).  Let's debunk a couple myths here...

Rooting for the Enemy

Have I enjoyed UNC's terrible season? You bet. Am I rooting for them to win the NIT? You're damn right I am. Wait, what? "Sam, why are you rooting for UNC? Don't you hate them with all your heart?"

The answer, of course, is yes. Which is exactly why I'm rooting for them. Nothing would make me happier than UNC having to raise an NIT Championship banner in the Dean Dome, because every time their fans looked up, they would see a constant reminder of Carolina's worst season since the Matt Doherty era.

And yes, I checked -- they do have NIT Championship banners. I think the players all get a certificate of participation too. With a gold star on it. The tourney MVP even gets a scratch 'n' sniff sticker on his. Good stuff.

"Well what if they don't want to raise a banner signifying that they're the 66th best team in the country? Can't they just win the damn thing and then forget it ever happened?"

What, and slight the players who worked so hard to ensure that technically, they finished the season ranked right behind Winthrop? Not likely. Even ol' Roy wouldn't stoop that low. At least I hope he wouldn't. I really want that banner.

Anyway, thanks for following the blog through Day 1. See you tomorrow for Day 2. I hope we were everything you hoped for, and more. Goodnight, readers. Both of you.

Cautious Pessimism

When I was in 8th grade, Duke had one of the greatest college basketball teams ever. Led by the inside play of Elton Brand and the sharpshooting Trajan Langdon, this team was stacked. They went 16-0 in ACC play, and rolled through the ACC Tournament, beating UNC by 23 in the final. They had only lost one game all year, their 6th game of the year, where they lost to Cincinnati when a buzzer-beater that would have won the game was waved off because it came a split-second too late. There were no expectations of anything less than a championship. Rolling into the NCAA Finals against UConn, this team didn't just look unbeatable, they were unbeatable.

The Case For Cornell

...well not really, but the title sounds enticing.

(Editor's Note: Daniel is an alum of a little school in Ithaca, New York called Cornell....ever heard of it?)

And with that, I say hello and welcome to the party.  Sam could not have phrased the purpose of this blog any better -- we're trying to provide insight into the life of the unemployed.  There's a lot of hardship out there, and we see it all on TV while you're pushing papers at work.  So whether you find our posts entertaining or you're just that bored of the helicopter game, we're glad to have you onboard.  The more people that read us, the better the excuse we can give to our parents and grandparents for why we're still in our boxers at 2 in the afternoon on a Wednesday.