Championship Recap

We've made it. We're about to crown a champion. It has been a journey through the annals of technology and we've left no stone nor Apple device unturned. We've proven that Charles H. Duell is an idiot and that you all like condoms. A lot. We've seen antibiotics make a sick run to the Final Four and Internet browse through the competition. We've witnessed the ball deflating under the pressure of a three seed and the automobile getting sold for well below its Blue Book value. We've seen tragedy and triumph, underdog and frontrunner, bad pun and good pun, all to see which invention trumps all the others.

And now...the results. Can I get a drum roll please?

The Championship

(For best results, click play, and then read on.)

This is it. The one you've all been waiting for. We've seen upsets and we've seen close matches, but we have not yet seen a champion. One click of your mouse for all the marbles. Internet-Telephone. Let's do this.

But before we start, let's clarify some things. Yes, you can get internet on your telephones, and you can make telephone calls over the internet. But for this matchup to work, we're going to have to distinguish the two. Therefore, for the sake of this matchup, you're going to have to choose one or the other -- for which invention would it be harder for you to live without?

Let's define telephones as any phone, landline, cell, satellite, etc. -- but on these phones, there's no internet. You can call, and you can text.

Let's define internet as complete use of the web, except that you can't make any sort of audio or video calls. Instant messaging is okay.

One click of the mouse. It's all up to you.

Final Four Recap

We've made it down to the final four inventions. Soon, only two will remain standing. Now you may be asking yourself: what does the picture to the right have to do with any of this? Is it that "time is running out for the tournament"? No. This was just the first thing that came up on Google image search for "television telephone internet antibiotics."

Just remember, it all comes down to one more click of the mouse from each of you. Without further ado, the Final Four results:

The Final Four

Before we get started on the Final Four, I'd just like to give you guys an another reminder to become a fan of The Couchwarmers on Facebook if you haven't done so already. Fans will be first in line to get important updates and will receive special giveaways* from The Couchwarmers.
*Subject to not actually happening

So here we are at the Final Four. The Elite 8 games saw some upsets, as two 1-seeds fell, leading to an unexpected #2 vs. #6 matchup here in Indianapolis/St. Louis/San Antonio (circle one). Here's the way the bracket looks heading into the penultimate round:

We've got Gus Johnson and Bill Raftery calling the game. Teddy Valentine leads an experienced officiating crew. The inventions are ready. The fans are ready. Let's get this thing underway.

Elite Eight Recap

I know many of you have been clamoring for the elite eight results (and if I were in your shoes, I would also be eagerly anticipating the recap) but sometimes "other things" get in the way of our posting schedule. Today, for instance, my internet was down and I was going to call Belkin to figure out what was wrong, but, you know, the Masters was on. Anyway, lucky for you, Phil's gutsy performance gave me the strength to call and fix the problem and now you get your dose of bad puns. I dare you not to laugh.

Elite 8

We're really getting down to it now. Three rounds down with only three more to go before we name the greatest invention of all time. Here's the bracket heading into the Elite 8:

Let's throw it back to the studio for some analysis:

Sweet 16 Results

And then there were eight...

I was going to highlight only three or four of the eight Sweet 16 matchups in this post but then I realized that daytime television is terrible. So all ye loyal readers will get a summary of all the matchups on the Road to the Final Four (except not an actual road because you decided to vote out interstate highway systems).  

We'll do it live!

Sweet 16

First, I'm going to address a vicious rumor I've heard. Some people are saying that The Couchwarmers have lost some steam over the past few days. If this is true, it's Daniel's fault. I warned all of you that I would be temporarily unavailable due to that whole "driving to North Carolina" thing. So I'm excusing myself from liability because of the twelve hours it took me to drive from New York to Durham -- although those two hours moving at 5 MPH on the DC Beltway did allow me ample time to brainstorm the blog. I hope you guys are ready for some entertainment, because right now, I'm elbow-deep in ideas. Stay tuned. And if you don't like the plans I have, I'll just blame Daniel again.

Round Two Recap

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Second Round

After a spirited first round of the Couchwarmers Invention Bracket Spectacular that saw some powerful teams go down, we move on to Round Two. To refresh your memory, here's the first round recap. We'll leave second round voting open until sometime on Saturday, when we'll recap the round and let you know which inventions made it to the Sweet 16. We realize that we're not going to be done with this thing by the time the real tourney ends on Monday night, but just think of this as a way to help you recover from your yearly bracket addiction. We at the Couchwarmers like to let you down easy.

Tomorrow, I'm driving down to Durham, NC for some sort of basketball game. I may throw up a post sometime over the weekend, but for now, I leave you at the whim of Daniel's capable typing fingers. Just know that at least for the next few days, you should expect fewer food references and more god-awful puns.

Now on to the matchups. Some second round highlights include:

First Round Recap

The first round of the Couchwarmers Invention Bracket Spectacular is now in the books. Here's how the bracket looks moving into Round Two:

Here's some analysis on all of the close matchups and upsets:

First Round, Part II

To all of you who voted yesterday, thank you. Results for both yesterday's and today's matchups will be posted tomorrow. But before we get day two of the first round started, let's deal with an issue that came up yesterday.

Many of you had problems with the inclusion of "Music" in our bracket, claiming that it's a discovery along the lines of electricity and fire, and not really an invention. Well we here at the Couchwarmers are a blog of the people. When you complain, we listen, especially when we completely agree with you. Therefore, "Music" has been given the boot. Hit the road, Jack, and don't you come back no more. Replacing it will be an item that we "dropped the ball" on, one that was submitted to us by simply telling us (not email) but that we forgot to bring up during our bracket discussion -- in fact, it is the very item that we dropped...the ball! The updated bracket is at the top.

Today, we'll be voting on the games in the Einstein Region and the Guttenberg Region. "But guys, Einstein's not an inventor! He's just a physicist!" Yes, we know. But with it currently being Passover, we felt that we needed some representation. Plus, he actually did invent something: a fridge that only needs a heat source to run. Perfect for pool parties. I'm sure Einstein had a sick tiki bar. Plus, he figured out why the sky is blue. That's pretty badass.

And now, on to the voting. Today's highlights include:

First Round, Part I

Welcome to the first round of the of 2010 Invention Bracket Spectacular! Over the next week or so, we’ll be allowing you to vote to determine the winning invention out of our field of 65. For each matchup, we’re asking you to vote on which invention matters the most to you. Basically, if you were given the choice between the two items in each matchup and could only use one of them -- or if mankind could only use one of them -- forever, which one would it be?

This is the Dawning of the Age of LaceDarius

Well, not quite. But he was really good. I'm going to avoid the lengthy recaps I've given to the other games, and instead just give you this:

Scheyer made shots when it mattered. Nolan was awesome. Singler's bad shooting was more pronounced than his albinism. Zoubek was somewhere in between "monster zoubek" and "retarded dinosaur Zoubek" today. (Yeah, I know you wanted to see that picture again too.) Baylor was solid all around, and LaceDarius Dunn was pretty spectacular, at least until he cooled off at the end. And I'm glad to see that Baylor has a Zoubek too. Nine minutes, five fouls, four points. Sounds about right.

Baylor was good. Duke was better. On to Indy. But now, we have much more important matters -- I present to you:

A Call for Submissions

Before we move on to the business at hand, just a quick word on Daniel’s last post:

I completely agree with him on Breaking Bad. It’s the best show on TV right now that you’re not watching. (Unless you haven't been watching LOST. Then that's the best.) And the best part is that there have only been 21 total episodes in the series so far. So if you’re not watching it yet, start now. If you’re as “motivated” as we are, you can be completely caught up in 3-4 days.

As for Friday Night Lights…I stopped watching it when the dorky kid at the school killed a guy with a shovel. Daniel’s told me it’s gotten better since then. I’ll just have to take his word for it.

Now on to The Couchwarmers’ first ever interactive post: