Friday, April 30, 2010

The New NFL Draft Interview Process

Before we get started here, I'd just like to remind you guys to weigh in on the toilet/TP issue. If this is gonna work, we'll need a few more responses. If you've got a few minutes that need killing, what better way than this?

No doubt most of you have heard about the recent Dez Bryant-Jeff Ireland controversy. For those who need a quick refresher, Ireland, the GM of the Dolphins, asked the wide receiver in a pre-draft interview if his mother was a prostitute when she had him at the age of fifteen. Word of this interview got out, people got indignant, Matt Millen weighed in saying that nothing is off-limits in these interviews, people got even more indignant, people realized Matt Millen still has a job somewhere, people got even more indignant -- you get the idea.

Respect for Robbie

Quick question, and don't cheat (or look at the post title or picture on the right): who is 1st in the American League this season in batting average, slugging percentage, runs and OPS, and 2nd in the AL in home runs?

I'll give you a clue. He plays in the AL East. Okay, I'll give you another clue. He plays for the Yankees.

No, it's not A-Rod. Definitely not Mark Teixiera. Not Derek Jeter, either. The answer is Robinson Cano. Admit it...Cano wouldn't have been among your top 15 guesses. A second baseman who is considered no better than the 4th or 5th best position player on his team? Please. Well, it's time to give the guy some respect.

Thursday, April 29, 2010

Your Thursday Night, Now in Convenient Sandwich Form

Tonight, NBC returns to its normal Thursday night comedy schedule for the first time in several weeks, and I, like many of you out there, am thrilled. This two-hour block has long been a highlight of my TV-watching week, not only because of the quality of the four shows -- Community, Parks and Recreation, The Office, and 30 Rock -- but also because of how NBC has figured out how to broadcast these four shows in precisely the right order.

Now, if you'll bear with me, I'll explain how these four programs are set up exactly like an expertly-made sandwich:

Floyd Mayweather Jr. Quotes Shakespeare

Floyd Mayweather Jr. tells Jim Rome what he thinks about other people's opinions. Insert requisite "Jim Rome is also an asshole"/Jim Everett joke here.

To V or Not To V

I had an internal conflict yesterday morning as I was preparing to bifurcate my day by going to the Mets game. You see, I am a Yankee fan so I had no rooting interest in the game nor did I have either team's paraphernalia to don. So I thought, if a jersey is out of the question, what qualifies as proper attire to wear to a baseball game? Can you wear a button-down shirt? At a Yankee game, sure, but this is the Mets we're talking about. They're the layperson's team. A guy in a button-down shirt at CitiField would stand out more than this thing or this thing. (Okay, that was a tasteless remark. What I really meant to say was that Mets fans should upgrade from coach to first class and support the classy organization that just so happens to have won 27 championships.)

Well, if a button-down is no good, how about a hoodie? Ah, much better. But what to wear under it? I could go with a t-shirt, a polo shirt, maybe even a regular white undershirt. I reached into my chest of drawers and happened on the one item I knew I couldn't wear to a baseball game: a V-neck t-shirt.

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Sweet Home Alabama

...as long as you speak English. If not, then get the f out. Roll Tide.


(Thanks to Jamie for passing this along.)

Hit the Road, Mel

Just a few quick thoughts on Mel Kiper's and everyone else's 2010 NFL Draft grades:

Who cares?

Those are my thoughts. That's it. Have a happy Wednesday.

What, you want grades from me? You're not gonna get them. I hate draft grades. So does Peter King, who has said, "It's like going to law school, passing the bar, and the next day someone says: You're going to be an 'A' lawyer. How in the world does anyone know who the 'A' lawyer is going to be until he or she has been out in the real world for a while?"