Wednesday, March 24, 2010

The Case For Cornell

...well not really, but the title sounds enticing.

(Editor's Note: Daniel is an alum of a little school in Ithaca, New York called Cornell....ever heard of it?)

And with that, I say hello and welcome to the party.  Sam could not have phrased the purpose of this blog any better -- we're trying to provide insight into the life of the unemployed.  There's a lot of hardship out there, and we see it all on TV while you're pushing papers at work.  So whether you find our posts entertaining or you're just that bored of the helicopter game, we're glad to have you onboard.  The more people that read us, the better the excuse we can give to our parents and grandparents for why we're still in our boxers at 2 in the afternoon on a Wednesday.

Now to the business at hand.  Unless you have been hiding under a rock, you know that the Cornell men's basketball team is in the Sweet 16 of the NCAA Tournament.  And as a reward, they get a date with Kentucky and their four potential lottery picks (John Wall, DeMarcus Cousins, Patrick Patterson and Eric Bledsoe).  I see this game going one of two ways: either Cousins goes Brittney Griner and smushes Ryan Wittman's nose in even more than it is now, prompting Cornell to play the "we'll let you guys freak out while we methodically beat you on backdoor screens" card...or Kentucky rolls by 30.

(Note: in the Cousins/Griner scenario, Cousins would get suspended for the rest of the tournament, see his draft stock fall because of concerns about anger management and maturity,  end up going to the Jazz who would now feel like they have a more than capable replacement for Carlos Boozer. Boozer would sign a max deal with the Knicks and Donnie Walsh would spend months trying to convince Knicks fans that he's a significant upgrade over David Lee.  Because of Cousins' potential haymaker -- and you can't tell me the odds of this happenings are less than 40% -- we could be a few months away from a Knicks' 2010-11 starting lineup of Toney Douglas, Wilson Chandler, Carlos Boozer and two overpaid free agent signings -- we'll say Raja Bell and Marcus Camby.  For the love of God, please keep your hands to yourself, DeMarcus.)

Let's face it: Cornell has overachieved and it's been quite a story, but this Kentucky team is tough. Not to mention the fact that John Wall has his own freakin' dance!  Prediction: Kentucky 72 - Cornell 60.

And now, the three best John Wall dance clips on Youtube. Enjoy.





  1. A couple of observations:
    As the saying goes, "The race is not always to the swift, but that's usually the way to bet." Meaning that Kentucky (a 9-point favorite) should win.
    BUT...the only time these Kentucky ever played Cornell (in 1977, I believe), the Red won.
    AND...the only time Kentucky played a tournament game in the Carrier Dome, they lost.
    SO...Kentucky will probably win anyway.
    Final observation: If the "Daniel" that wrote this column is my son, what ARE you doing sitting around at home in your boxers at two in the afternoon?
    Go Red!

  2. Love the Andy Bernard picture. Just tone down the Simmons imitation (basically, the whole Cousins tangent).

    Over/Under on this blog still running: July 31

  3. I don't really think Cornell has "overachieved," as you say, Daniel. Though it pains me to give the Red this much credit, Cornell was ranked #22 in the country before being sniped off by Penn. Penn is awful (ranked 296 of 350 in the Pomroy standings) but any team can have an off night. Cornell went basket for basket with 'Cuse earlier this season and lost to Kansas by 6 (combined, these two teams held the #1 ranking 14 of 18 weeks this season). Pretend the hiccup against Penn never happened and Cornell is going to finish the season a top 15 team.
    So if you were to ask my colleague Coach Steve Donahue, he would probably say they are playing at their potential right now even though the Big Red couldn't beat d3 Ithaca College last season.

  4. I put the over/under on the blog ending as August 3. I don't want it ending on my birthday.

    GO BIG RED!!

  5. I enjoyed both the post and the comments.

  6. In honor of Cornell's run to Sweet 16 and hopefully Elite 8 and beyond, the Andro hoops staff should have Ivy League teams for Intramurals again this coming summer. Or since Feldman did that a few years ago, go with MVC, WCC or some obscure conference. Go Big Red! None of my teams are left so I'm rooting for some upsets.