LeBron to LeBulls?

As I touched on in my last post, midnight tonight will mark the beginning of the most anticipated free agency period in NBA history. Dwyane Wade, Chris Bosh, Joe Johnson, Carlos Boozer, Dirk Nowitzki, Paul Pierce and, oh yeah, LeBron James will test the market, looking for their next big paycheck. The Knicks, my team of choice, have had July 1 circled on their calendar for about two years now, hoping that the bright lights of New York could lure LeBron James (and more) to the Big Apple. As we have neared that fateful date, however, the Knicks' chances of signing a marquee free agent like James or Wade have seemed to dwindle. Talks of LeBron and Bosh heading to Chicago to team up with Derrick Rose and Joakim Noah have heated up. Here's a story that, if true, would put a nail in the Knicks' coffin and make this Bulls #6 jersey a reality.

Weekend Recap, Now with a World Record 215 Underpants

Welcome back for another work week, loyal readers. For those of you who are upset at having to start another week of work/school, here's something that's sure to put a smile on your face:

USA-Ghana Preview

Dan (not Daniel, but another Dan) was born and raised in California. In today's match, he'll be rooting for Ghana. He has an explanation for this, but it's not a good one. As he is the expert on the Ghanaian soccer team, he's been nice enough to give us a preview of the game:

As the foremost expert on the Ghanaian national soccer team in Sam’s circle of friends, I’ve been asked to write a preview of the upcoming round of 16 match between the US and the Black Stars. I’ve been hooked on Ghanaian soccer ever since the second day I spent studying abroad in Accra, when I got ripped off buying a Ghana jersey and needed to find a way to justify the expense. 

In the interest of full disclosure, I rooted for Ghana when they beat the US 2-1 back in 2006. Despite the cries of “Traitor,” “Terrorist,” “Don’t Tread” and “Give Back Your Passport,” I plan on doing so again on Saturday. I’d go into the reasons why, but either you know me or you probably don’t care that much, so I’ll get on with the preview.

Couch Pretzels: The Magic Bullet Infomercial

A few weeks ago, Peter brought "Couch Pretzels" to The Couchwarmers.  Today, Peter is back for part deux.  Nothing like a commentary on infomercials to fill a Friday afternoon.

The Magic Bullet Infomercial: There are a lot of good possibilities in the infomercial category: Sham-Wow, The Snuggie, anything involving Ron Popeil. But the Magic Bullet wins out because of its ability to provide the audience with just enough narrative to keep us watching—not for the product, but for the characters.

Know Thy Enemy: Algeria

Just thought I'd quickly give you the third part of my aforepromised (no, it's not actually a word, but you know exactly what it means) "Know Thy Enemy" series. Tomorrow the U.S. plays Algeria. A win puts the Americans in the knockout rounds. Since I've been out of the loop for the past few days, I don't know whether or not our soccer guru is going to have anything for you by tomorrow, so this may have to do in terms of a game preview. But isn't it fun to have Daniel back? He'll knock the rust off soon, I promise.

So I did some research on Algeria, and I really don't know what to say. 90% of Algerians live near the coast, because that's really the only livable part of the entire country. That's right, Algeria. Your country is a giant wasteland. Sam Kinison, what do you have to say about this?

I'm Baaaaack

I hope you all enjoyed Sam's tyrannic reign over The Couchwarmers for the past month or so.  If you're still reading, I assume you did...or you just happen to be a member of Sam's family so you're obligated.  Well, for the next two months at least, Sam will be in Maine so that leaves me as the principal voice of the Couchwarmers.  I've been gone a while so, in order to best fill you in some loose ends, let's get an old-fashioned Q&A going, shall we?

USA-Slovenia Preview

We're happy to be joined once again by our soccer guru, Bradley, who's here to preview USA-Slovenia. Spit your gospel, Nostradamus:

A disclaimer before I preview USA-Slovenia: I just had my wisdom teeth removed and am very high on painkillers. I apologize if I make up words, players, or even countries. (Note: Slovenia is in fact a real country, despite it disguising itself as a small village. I am not making this place up, I swear.)

The main word that comes to mind about Friday’s match against Slovenia is “scary”. The US is the favorite, and is expected to take care of business. But this may not be that simple. The USA has a terrible track record of not showing up to play when they are favored to win. Just ask Ghana.