Monday, June 28, 2010

Weekend Recap, Now with a World Record 215 Underpants

Welcome back for another work week, loyal readers. For those of you who are upset at having to start another week of work/school, here's something that's sure to put a smile on your face:

Well, this weekend's big story was both frustrating and heart-wrenching. It made you want to throw your remote at the television and curse our country. It was an unprecedented American travesty.  Yes, Justin Bieber's mom was offered only $50,000 to pose topless for Playboy.  

On a much lesser note, this weekend also featured the end of the United States' soccer team's Cinderella run--though I'm not quite sure a team that wins only one of four games can be considered to have made a Cinderella run in the first place. Ghana was just faster and Landon Donovan clearly had other things on his mind like, uh, a paternity accusation... The patriotic amongst us are disappointed but, look on the bright side, Glenn Beck was cheering for Team U.S.A. so we can all take solace in knowing that he is upset (yes, now that Sam is on sabbatical, the political references can come out). 

Speaking of America, there's nothing more American than Disney World.  And now you can live there...if you have $1.5-$8 million and arrested development.

As for cartoons, this ten-year-old boy isn't watching many cause he's too busy trying on 215 pairs of underpants. Good for him: he gets a world record in his honor and lots of protection against wedgies.

Switching gears to BET awards last night, where Chris Brown did his best Michael Jackson impression, which quickly turned into his best Stephon Marbury impression as he sobbed his way through "Man in the Mirror." He left many thinking that he's come a long way from his Rihanna-beating ways and others thinking that he's got a hell of a P.R. guy.

LeBron James grabbed headlines by canceling his free agent tour around the country and making salivating NBA general managers fly to Cleveland to make their respective pitches there. The Nets will visit the King first, which will place James, rapper/Nets minority owner Jay-Z and billionaire/charismatic Nets owner Mikhail Prokhorov in the same room. On the scale of meetings that I wish I could sit in on, this one ranks somewhere above this one and somewhere below the Last Supper.

Staying with NBA free agency, the Knicks plan to fly to Los Angeles to meet with Hawks guard Joe Johnson at 9 PM (12 AM Eastern Time) to mark the beginning of the free agency period. The Knicks secret sales weapon: Allan Houston. They hope he can give Johnson and other free agents a "player perspective" on what it's like to play in New York. The conversation will probably go something like this:

"Hey Joe, playing in New York is great! The Knicks will give you 100 million dollars when you're pushing 30 years old, can't do much more than score and have never won before. That's exactly what they did for me and look what happened!"

Yea, we're screwed. I'll try to post later this week as long as I don't have an aneurysm before then.

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