Couch Pretzels: Yours Truly, Johnny Dollar

We all come across shows by accident. Sometimes, you develop an odd fascination with them, often because they are a train wreck, other times because they are just entertaining in a way you can’t explain. You probably shouldn’t waste time with them, but you do anyway. Soon you realized you’ve watched or heard enough to be considered a fan. You know the feeling of finding an old pretzel amongst the cushions, don’t you? Sure, it might be from the 1PM football games, and it’s most definitely not a smart idea to eat it, but you do anyway. And more times than not, it’s satisfying in an empty caloric way. Well, these shows are kind of like that. Today's Couch Pretzel comes from Peter:

Every Sunday evening around 7PM, I come to the realization that I have put off my weekly trip to Trader Joe’s. On my way to the store, with my radio dial fixed on WAMU, the Washington, DC NPR affiliate, I regularly come across the “Big Broadcast with Ed Walker.” To be honest, it first caught my ear because the show begins with the un-ironic playing of the cheesy love music from Airplane.

USA-Ghana Preview

Dan (not Daniel, but another Dan) was born and raised in California. In today's match, he'll be rooting for Ghana. He has an explanation for this, but it's not a good one. As he is the expert on the Ghanaian soccer team, he's been nice enough to give us a preview of the game:

As the foremost expert on the Ghanaian national soccer team in Sam’s circle of friends, I’ve been asked to write a preview of the upcoming round of 16 match between the US and the Black Stars. I’ve been hooked on Ghanaian soccer ever since the second day I spent studying abroad in Accra, when I got ripped off buying a Ghana jersey and needed to find a way to justify the expense. 

In the interest of full disclosure, I rooted for Ghana when they beat the US 2-1 back in 2006. Despite the cries of “Traitor,” “Terrorist,” “Don’t Tread” and “Give Back Your Passport,” I plan on doing so again on Saturday. I’d go into the reasons why, but either you know me or you probably don’t care that much, so I’ll get on with the preview.

Couch Pretzels: The Magic Bullet Infomercial

A few weeks ago, Peter brought "Couch Pretzels" to The Couchwarmers.  Today, Peter is back for part deux.  Nothing like a commentary on infomercials to fill a Friday afternoon.

The Magic Bullet Infomercial: There are a lot of good possibilities in the infomercial category: Sham-Wow, The Snuggie, anything involving Ron Popeil. But the Magic Bullet wins out because of its ability to provide the audience with just enough narrative to keep us watching—not for the product, but for the characters.

Guest Post: A Golf Hypothetical

Today's guest post comes to us from Jamie, a friend of The Couchwarmers. It was sent to me Sunday night, so by the time you read this, he will have already either failed miserably or partially succeeded in his attempt to become the most famous golfer ever in the history of the sport. He also poses an interesting hypothetical at the end, which I know will stir up some lively debate in the comments. Jamie, it's all yours:

Tomorrow at 7AM at the Golf Club of New England I will tee off for my first competitive round of golf since my father dragged me to our local country club to enter a junior event when I was eight years old. Growing up, my parents were avid golfers, but I tended to concentrate on the more “popular” sports (e.g., soccer, basketball, and baseball). My golf exposure was limited to the random times I would play with my Dad, where I would close my eyes, swing as hard as I could, and hope I would make decent contact.

USA-England Recap

Bradley, our resident soccer expert, will be here throughout the World Cup, providing previews and recaps for the U.S. matches. Today, he's back for an analysis of USA's glorious tie over England. And yes, as he won't hesitate to tell you, he was one Michael Bradley goal away from a perfect pre-game prediction. He's like a soccer Nostradamus -- or a miniature Buddha covered in hair. I cede the floor to you, soccer guru:

“If you buy a ticket, sometimes....you win a raffle”.

This fantastic commentating comes from Martin Tyler, who couldn’t have described this terrible goal better. It was a gift from the Gods, in a game that felt like it was already lost. If you had offered me a 1-1 draw before this game started, I would have taken it, no question. In the 4th minute, when Ricardo Clark decided marking Steven Gerrard was not important, I would have sold my left kidney to get a point out of that game. Probably my right too. This was a fantastic result for the U-S-A. The New York Times had it right in their headline: USA WINS 1-1.

England Preview: The One with Actual Soccer Knowledge

This guest post comes to us from Bradley, who unlike me, actually knows a lot about soccer. He's here to preview today's World Cup match between England and the U.S. I hope you're ready to get hit with some soccer knowledge:

When the World Cup draws came out, English newspaper headlines read:

Very clever, England. You still refer to us as Yanks, reminding yourselves of a pathetic defeat to your very own colony. You see, it is incredibly enjoyable to make fun of England, as Sam has already so eloquently done. But while tea and Hugh Grant do suck, it is not my job to rip on England, but rather to prove how they will lose from a soccer standpoint. On Saturday, the USA will once again be victorious. Really. Here's why:

Couch Pretzels: Jack Van Impe Presents

Today's guest post comes to us from Peter (not Little George, but a different Peter). He's even been nice enough to write the introduction for the first in what we hope will be a continuing series. In Couch Pretzels, we'll unearth diamond-in-the-rough TV shows and other forms of entertainment so that you too can enjoy them as much as we do. Peter, the floor is yours:

We all come across shows by accident. Sometimes, you develop an odd fascination with them, often because they are a train wreck, other times because they are just entertaining in a way you can’t explain. You probably shouldn’t waste time with them, but you do anyway. Soon you realized you’ve watched or heard enough to be considered a fan.

In the spirit of The Couchwarmers motto to “catch everything that falls between the cushions,” I present to you the first installment of “Couch Pretzels.” You know the feeling of finding an old pretzel amongst the cushions, don’t you? Sure, it might be from the 1pm football games, and it’s most definitely not a smart idea to eat it, but you do anyway. And more times than not, it’s satisfying in an empty caloric way. Well, these shows are kind of like that.

Guest Post: Obama and the Oil Spill

This post comes from Mike, a friend of The Couchwarmers. Thankfully, he's into current events, because I most definitely am not. For me, "current events" means what I'm eating for dinner. Mike's post uses this column as its basis. All opinions expressed are those of the writer, because, well -- let's face it, when it comes to politics, I don't have any. Mike, take it away:

I like Peggy Noonan's writing a lot, and think this is dead on. Okay, I know she writes for the Wall Street Journal, but she's reasonable and thoughtful. Regardless, at some point, the campaign-like Obama worship has got to stop and intelligent moderate views must prevail. There have to be expectations for his presidency besides passing costly, watered down legislation that will need revision down the road. Personally, I love reading both the New York Times and Wall Street Journal to actually know what is going on in the middle and reality. Synergy.

A Call for Guest Writers

Recently, some of you have asked me, "Sam, how can I get a guest post on The Couchwarmers?"

Well, ask no more. I'm making an executive decision here. As long as you have an idea that's funny and/or interesting, you're in. Just as CNN has its iReports, which is basically a way for them to get other people to do the work that CNN is supposed to be doing, I have you guys.

I know you have ideas. I've heard them. I've even probably stolen a few of them. But if you guys want your say, I'm opening up the floor. Now, a brief FAQ:

Guest Post: Peter's Self-Interview

And now, the Couchwarmers are happy to present a guest post by Peter/Little George. On the strength of his Bobby Valentine find and the fact that he had the onions to prank call Justin Tuck, we felt like this was entirely warranted. Plus, we know you didn't want to read another one of Daniel's groundbreaking exposés where he expresses his disdain for the common cold or people who snore. So without further ado, I give you the Couchwarmers' first-ever guest post: 

The Couchwarmers' Guest Blogger Interviews Self, Welcomes Self to Blog 

Peter: Little George, welcome to the Couchwarmers. It’s great to have you aboard.

Little George: Thanks, Peter. It’s great to be, well....back on the couch.

P: Now, you say "back on the couch" -- I understand you actually lived on a couch for the past few months. Is that true?