Thursday, May 6, 2010

Guest Post: Peter's Self-Interview

And now, the Couchwarmers are happy to present a guest post by Peter/Little George. On the strength of his Bobby Valentine find and the fact that he had the onions to prank call Justin Tuck, we felt like this was entirely warranted. Plus, we know you didn't want to read another one of Daniel's groundbreaking exposés where he expresses his disdain for the common cold or people who snore. So without further ado, I give you the Couchwarmers' first-ever guest post: 

The Couchwarmers' Guest Blogger Interviews Self, Welcomes Self to Blog 

Peter: Little George, welcome to the Couchwarmers. It’s great to have you aboard.

Little George: Thanks, Peter. It’s great to be, well....back on the couch.

P: Now, you say "back on the couch" -- I understand you actually lived on a couch for the past few months. Is that true?

LG: Well, Peter, indeed it is. I lived on a couch for....(pauses to think it over) about six months. I have some friends still living in Ithaca, NY back at my alma mater.

P: (Laughter) Wow! That is something. Living on a couch! Now, I’ve got to ask the question on everyone’s mind: “did this couch pull out?”

LG: Well, no....but I sure as hell do! (2 minutes of side-splitting laughter) Actually, if I removed the back cushions, the couch became a wider couch, but any more than 1¼ rolls to the left and I was on the ground.

P: Oh no! Did you ever fall off?

LG: Once, actually, but I was in a pretty deep sleep.

P: So, two-part question: Where was your couch located in the house? And was that ever troublesome?

LG: Well, the couch was in the living room, Peter.

P: Oh, generally a heavily-trafficked area of a house.

LG: You said it. But troublesome….not really. Some days I would wake up to an aubade of roommates doing p90x plyometric workouts. And let me tell you, a house with a foundation as unstable as ours really shook when grown men jumped in it. Also, there was a fish tank in there. Sometimes the filter would keep me awake. And once -- just once -- I pissed myself because of the constant sound of water filtration.

P: Umm, really?

LG: Well, everything but that last part. I Just said that to make you laugh.

P: (genuine laughter) Oh, that's a good one. I like you, Little. You’re alright.

LG: Yeah, thanks. You’re a pretty cool guy yourself.

P: I mean, it happens to everyone.

LG: What?

P: Wetting the bed.

LG: Yeah, maybe as a kid.

P: (Touching Little George's shoulder gently) You’re not alone.

(awkward silence)

P: Oh, pffffff a little kid. That’s what I mea— Let’s get back on topic, shall we?

LG: Yeah. Let’s.

P: So what do you think you’ll bring to this blog?

LG: Well....I see myself as a Robert Horry. Someone who will be a role player on an already successful team. I can come in from time to time and write about something I think is funny or relevant, along with knocking down the occasional game winning 3. I’ll talk about spots, music, books, movies and provide links like this. Whatever anyone says, I’m coming in to be a contributor to a great organization representing the 9.7% -- I certainly wasn’t recruited because Sam and Daniel are losing steam.

P: Incredible. And we wish you nothing but luck and success in all your upcoming endeavors.

LG: Thanks, Peter.

P: So, you uh....wanna hang out later?

LG: We're the same person.

P: Right.


  1. I haven't seen a peter with this serious a case of multiple personalities and deep seeded mental disorder since this guy:

  2. Great post. Even greater comment. Well actually, the post was the greater of the two... That clip was still great and apropos, Andy. Like something that is both good, and good for you.