Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Bear vs. Shark: The Final Verdict

In a match that was decided by a single vote, the winner is....The Shark!

Shark     51%
Bear       49%

Down goes Bear! Down goes Bear!

And just like the last time, The Couchwarmers are in total agreement with this verdict.

The bear may be the smarter animal -- but really, when it comes down to killing instincts, how much brain do you actually need? The shark knows what it's gotta do, and its advantages in size, speed, and strength are the deciding factors in this one. Additionally, the shark's swimming ability -- basically, its ability to defy gravity -- means that he can really work up some momentum and deliver a crushing full-speed body blow to the bear. The bear just has no way to retaliate.

We're not saying that a bear would never win this fight. We just believe that the shark would win more than 50% of the time -- in our opinion, well over 50% of the time. Probably even over 95% of the time.

Maybe occasionally, a well-placed swipe of the bear's claws could cripple the shark. But for this to happen, the bear would have to get incredibly lucky, especially if the shark came in at full speed. Therefore, in our minds, there's no doubt that in neutral territory, a shark would defeat a bear.

And I was holding off on this until voting closed, but the Discovery Channel has proof that yes, a shark did in fact defeat a bear (environment undetermined).

So that does it for Ridiculous Hypothetical #2. Thanks to all of you who voted. If you have suggestions for future hypotheticals that will inspire similar scholarly debate, we'd be happy to hear them.

1 comment:

  1. The shark doesn't have the speed advantage, the bear does. Also, a shark would only win this if the bear was too stupid to step out of the way of its "crushing full-speed body blow".

    In other news, I suddenly regret being too honorable to stuff the ballot box. Bear got robbed.