Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Weekend Recap, Now with the Bizarro Invention Bracket

Welcome back for another work week, loyal readers. I hope all of you had a great Memorial Day weekend. In honor of this special Tuesday Weekend Recap, for those of you who are upset about having to start another week of work/school, here's something that's sure to put a smile on your face:

I'm gonna have to start changing that last part soon, though. In honor of summer vacation, school won't be in that last sentence for much longer. Those of you earning a steady paycheck, on the other hand -- that just sucks for you. Well, you know what I mean. Let's recap:

First off, the clambake was everything I had hoped for and more. Full write-up will be posted sometime later this week once my lobster detox is complete. Also, thanks to those of you who have already sent in bear vs. shark arguments. If you haven't yet, you've still got a few days before voting goes up.

Lot of stuff happened this weekend. Let's gloss over the stuff no one really cares about. Someone who wasn't a chick won the Indy 500. Lakers and Celtics, again. French open tennis.

And now, the important stuff -- like another perfect game, this time by Roy Halladay. At this rate, we're on pace for about seven perfect games this season. Still, Phillies fans are freaking out, since the Phillies suddenly can't buy a run and have dropped out of first place.

The Stanley Cup Finals aren't bringing much solace to the City of Brotherly Love either. Two one-goal games, two Blackhawks victories. Let the panicking begin. Wait, what? How can you be calm in a time like this? This is when fans from Philly would historically begin their emotional nosedive. What the hell's going on here? Don't tell me that one little measly 3-0 comeback a few weeks ago means that you guys are now eternal believers. For the good of nature, we need a Chicago sweep here -- it'll be like a city-wide memory wipe. Let's hit that reset button.

Duke Lacrosse won their first national title in an overtime thriller. A lot of people talked about how this was the redemption for a team that had its entire season cancelled four years ago due to rape accusations. I would have thought that redemption would have come, you know, when the North Carolina district attorney announced that the accusations were completely false and the result of a crazy woman. But yet, some people are still holding a team accountable for a made-up story. Whatever. Screw them. Congrats, Duke.

A few weeks ago, we had our Invention Bracket, in order to determine the best invention ever. Well, now Time has come out with a list of the 50 worst inventions ever. It's pretty hard to argue with any of their choices.

And of course, it wouldn't be Tuesday without a hefty dose of coprophilia. Requirement satisfied.

Finally, if you're looking for something to do after you've sent in your bear vs. shark email, you can always check out the fake BP Twitter feed. Enjoy your Tuesday.

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