Weekend Recap, Now with Vuvuzelas

BUUUUUZZZZZZZZZZ. BUUUUZZZZZZZZZZZZZ. BUUUUZZZZZZZZZZ.

Welcome back for another work week, loyal readers. For those of you who are upset at having to start another week of work/school, here's something that's sure to put a smile on your face:

BUUUUUZZZZZZZZZZZZZ. BUUUUUUUUUZZZZZZZZZZ.

Remember that? Wasn't that awesome? Let's recap:

So far, the World Cup has produced exciting matches, awful goaltending, and lots of BUUUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ. Luckily enough for all of us, tournament officials are thinking of banning the obnoxious vuvuzela horns you've heard if you've tuned into the World Cup for even a few seconds. As someone with an insect allergy, hearing those things scares the shit out of me. I'm making an executive decision here. The vuvuzelas are hereby banned from The Couchwarmers. You're welcome.

On the field, the match that everyone was talking about was the England-U.S. match, which the U.S. ended up winning, 1-1. Or at least that's the message you'd get if you read the papers both here and across the pond. By now, you've seen the goal that Clint Dempsey scored -- if you haven't, then I don't know why you're even reading us. Yes, it was incredibly lucky. But in all, I thought the U.S. played well. Jozy Altidore even almost won it in the second half with a great run that ended with him hitting the post. In my opinion, it was incredibly well-deserved tie. So yes, the goal was a gift -- but the point wasn't. Our resident soccer guru should have something for us later recapping the match.

Also, if you're new at this whole soccer thing, here's a flowchart that should be helpful for you in knowing what you're supposed to do about your team's World Cup success or lack thereof:

Also, some other stuff happened this weekend. There was some basketball. There was some baseball. Vince Young went to a strip club and punched a guy. But none of that matters, because for the next few weeks, soccer's where it's at.

Elsewhere, The New York Times banned the word "tweet." That's right -- common sense is finally taking back the country, one brain cell at a time.

And speaking of common sense, BP is deploying deep sea sensors to the oil spill to better measure the amount of oil that's spilling into the ocean every day. You know, instead of what they've been doing for the past two months -- guessing.

Enjoy your Monday. My summer job starts on Thursday. I'll have more details for you on that later. Daniel's also supposed to come back sometime this week. So you fans of tangential rambling can keep your fingers crossed for that.