Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Sweet 16 Results

And then there were eight...

I was going to highlight only three or four of the eight Sweet 16 matchups in this post but then I realized that daytime television is terrible. So all ye loyal readers will get a summary of all the matchups on the Road to the Final Four (except not an actual road because you decided to vote out interstate highway systems).  

(6) Antibiotics beats (2) Currency, 56-44
Currency was money in the first half, but antibiotics built up some resistance as the game progressed.  Antibiotics' hard work paid off as they held on for the win. They were going to celebrate with some postgame beers, but the coaches advised against it.

(1) Automobiles drive by (5) Camera, 95-5
This one was over in a flash. The automobiles were running on all cylinders and the camera lost its focus early. The cameras fell behind 0-60 in a matter of seconds and the automobiles cruised from there.  

(2) Internet slides by (11) Condoms, 77-23
We agree. Without the internet, you wouldn't have the Couchwarmers. We're better than sex... safe sex anyways.

(2) Light bulb lights up (3) Plastic, 72-28
The light bulb was just brighter than plastic and it stayed hot all game long. Plastic "wraps up" its Sweet 16 run with a blowout loss. We expected more from the versatile plastic.

(2) Printing press rains on (3) Irrigation, 51-49
To quote Gus Johnson, what a game! Irrigation was draining shots early but it had no answer for printing press' by-the-book system. Irrigation loses by a bucket.

(1) Telephone rings up (4) Battery, 61-39
Battery came out charged but telephone answered the call. Telephone was dialed in from long distance throughout.  

(1) Television flat screens (4) Refrigeration, 55-45
Phew. We can still watch the Masters the next few days...except with chips and rotten salsa and warm beer.

(1) Computer lands (5) Airplanes, 87-13
The high-flying airplane had a ton of buzz entering this matchup. It soared to an early lead but computer booted up and blew airplane away. Computer advances to take on Internet in the Elite 8 in what may be the most highly anticipated matchup of the tournament. Make sure to vote on that one.

Elite 8 matchups will be posted later tonight.  Keep refreshing until it's up.


  1. Fuck you guys, that was my pun quota for April. What am I going to do for the rest of the month?

  2. Without condoms we would all have AIDS by now.

  3. Just so that last comment will make sense for most of you:

  4. To be fair, if that guy hadn't boinked that monkey that one time nobody would have AIDS. You can't blame it ALL on condoms.

  5. irrigation should be in the elite 8. i demand a recount!