Sunday, April 4, 2010

Sweet 16

First, I'm going to address a vicious rumor I've heard. Some people are saying that The Couchwarmers have lost some steam over the past few days. If this is true, it's Daniel's fault. I warned all of you that I would be temporarily unavailable due to that whole "driving to North Carolina" thing. So I'm excusing myself from liability because of the twelve hours it took me to drive from New York to Durham -- although those two hours moving at 5 MPH on the DC Beltway did allow me ample time to brainstorm the blog. I hope you guys are ready for some entertainment, because right now, I'm elbow-deep in ideas. Stay tuned. And if you don't like the plans I have, I'll just blame Daniel again.

On a separate note, March's unemployment numbers are in, and they have a familiar feel. We might be the only people in the country who are ecstatic that the unemployment rate didn't drop. We only deemed ourselves The 9.7% a week and a half ago. We're not ready to change yet.

And on a very, very separate note, I'm proud to announce that I successfully completed the Tex-Mex triple crown yesterday: Chipotle for lunch, Armadillo Grill for dinner, and Cosmic Cantina late night. Frankly, I'm astounded that my stomach hasn't decided to quit on me yet. Though if you never get another post from me, you'll know why. Just know that I went out like I wanted to: in a fiery blaze of beans and tortilla wraps. It was a good run while it lasted.

Now, we move on to the big board. Here we are at the Sweet 16, and we only have a few non-favorites moving on. You might call that boring. We call that great seeding. Nice job, tournament committee. This is even more impressive when you realize that the condom seems to be benefiting from being a crowd favorite. Evidently you guys would rather have safe sex than skyscrapers; we're not ones to judge.

Featured matchups include:

(1) Television vs. (4) Refrigeration: The TV and the fridge -- undeniably, the lazy man's vices. TV can't provide you with actual sustenance, but not everything needs to be refrigerated, especially not before opening.

(2) Internet vs. (11) Condoms: Are we ever gonna run out of condom puns? Possibly, but the one thing we're not going to do is re-use them. Or make two of them at the same time.

(2) Currency vs. (6) Antibiotics: Sure, the doctor will treat your infection. But you'll have to pay him with three of your finest dairy cows.

Now is the time when you vote.

1 comment:

  1. Too bad there's no pasteurization for the milk those dairy cows will produce. Damn you, anesthesia!

    PS Yes, I'm reading your blog.