Elite 8

We're really getting down to it now. Three rounds down with only three more to go before we name the greatest invention of all time. Here's the bracket heading into the Elite 8:

Let's throw it back to the studio for some analysis:

(1) Television vs. (2) Printing Press: A longtime rivalry renewed. Aware of it or not, we all know it well -- a younger version of yourself is parked in front of the TV when your parent turns it off and tells you to go read a book instead. If anything, the results here should give us a gauge of the maturity level of our readers (although since you've stuck with us through three rounds of condom jokes, I'm pretty sure I know which way you'll lean here). This promises to be the most telling matchup of mid-afternoon entertainment since the printing press took on stick and a hoop in "Ye Olde 1853 Invention Bracket."

(1) Telephone vs. (2) Light Bulb: Or as our 1940's newsreel narrator has started calling it, The Skirmish for the Switchboard. We all like being able to see things at night without a 3% chance of your house burning down -- how more candles weren't knocked over in Colonial Williamsburg, we'll never know. But we also like being able to actually talk to people who aren't within shouting distance. Let's settle this once and for all.

(1) Computer vs. (2) Internet: Computer used to be the preeminent team in the Technology Conference; however, in recent years, the internet has been gaining ground, mainly because of its highly choreographed dance routines aimed at attracting the top recruits. With the internet now available on phones and pads and pizza boxes (coming Summer 2013), we will finally be answering whether the internet has revolutionized the world more than the computer itself.

(1) Automobiles vs. (6) Antibiotics: Antibiotics' cinderella run continues, as it faces the automobile in its regional final. No one could have seen this one coming; yet, with antibiotics' uncanny ability to stay healthy throughout this tournament, I guess we shouldn't be surprised. As an aside, the reason that we're starting the Elite 8 only a few hours after releasing the Sweet 16 results is so that all the news outlets don't have time to put together puff pieces about Detroit for this one.