Friday, May 7, 2010

The Perfect Sandwich

A few nights ago, I was watching Best Food Ever on TLC, where they counted down the top ten sandwiches in the U.S. As an added bonus, it's narrated by John Goodman, so if you've ever wanted to hear Walter Sobchak talk about sandwiches for a good 40 minutes, you're in luck. This got me thinking, though -- specifically about creating the greatest sandwich sandwich ever. So here's a new life goal of mine: I want to create the perfect sandwich, and I want you guys to help.

Now the problem with a lot of the sandwiches on the show was that they were made with top-shelf ingredients like kobe beef and truffles. When I want a sandwich, I want something that I can get for under $10. If I want kobe beef, I'll (get a high-priced job first and then) go to a steakhouse. Another problem was that some of these sandwiches were two-foot-high monstrosities. When it gets to to the point that you can't pick it all up and get a bite that combines all the ingredients, it's not a sandwich anymore -- it's a meal.

So the first step is figuring what type of bread I'm going with. I've mentioned that I don't want any non-sandwich monstrosities, but I figure that I'm still going to try to cram a lot of ingredients into this thing. It would make sense here to use a hoagie roll. Slice it so that the top and bottom don't separate, leaving the bottom hinge (like in the picture above) and you can stuff a lot of ingredients inside. If you try to use regular bread in a multi-ingredient sandwich, all the stuff inside will just end up spilling out. I'm confident that a hoagie roll is the way to go here.

After thinking it over, I came up with the best meat and cheese choices I could. Right now, it's looking like a tribute to the pig. Start with a base of BBQ pulled pork, upon which rests a sausage (kielbasa, perhaps), and maybe a few strips of bacon, although I'm still deciding whether or not this is overkill. I figure I'll melt some cheddar cheese over the top too --  a hot sandwich is always better than a cold one. I mean, who doesn't love a hot lunch?

For toppings, we'll need something to balance out the heaviness of the meat. Right now, the best I could come up with is some creamy coleslaw and some tomatoes, but I'm open to suggestions here -- veggies aren't really my area of expertise.

As I mentioned before, I'm actually planning on making this sandwich. But if you guys have suggestions, I want to hear them, because I know I'm probably forgetting something. I figure if we put our heads together, I'll be much better equipped to go for sandwich perfection.

On tap for the weekend:

In the AL East, The Yankees take on the 4th-place team. Meanwhile in the NL East, Phillies fans are snapping up taser kid t-shirts. Get yours before they're all gone -- or before another week passes and they're as funny as that Pants on the Ground t-shirt you bought a few months back.

More NHL playoffs.

More NBA playoffs.

Thanks for sticking with us through yet another week. Here's your Friday reward video. Great rules to live by. With all the action going on this weekend, you'll most likely need them at some point.


  1. You need to use a D'Ambrosio roll.

  2. One of the things the Irish understand is the need for a portable yet satisfying meal option. Enter: the roll. Every shop (my tiny town has four) has a deli counter where you can get pretty much anything you like on a roll. Of special interest to you, I believe, is the breakfast roll: rashers (like bacon, but better) sausages, black and/or white pudding, one fried egg, hash browns, ketchup, on a roll. (Some variations also include beans, mushrooms, or tomatoes). It's pretty much two of every animal on a baguette, and let me tell you, there is nothing like it.

  3. PS: Fuck you, now I'm hungry.

  4. Your "two of every animal" comment just gave me a great idea for a sandwich called the "Noah's Ark": two types of chicken (chicken breast and egg), two types of pig (pulled pork and bacon), and two types of cow (steak and some sort of dairy-based spread). I think this is gonna have to happen sooner rather than later.

  5. Can it wait till New Years? It can be like the taco thing, except I'll be there.

  6. PIG IN A DOG BED ………8.99
    A 12 inch dog resting in a bed of pulled pork
    topped with melted cheese

    I had this last time I dined at the fine establishment that is Buck's Naked BBQ. It's probably just been in the back of your mind since I told you about it